les adventures de slippy jenkins

Did you guys hear the news! TODAY IS A MOMENTOUS DAY!

Molly killed it at the M Bar.

Chuck at the M Bar. 4 Days reading…

Hummingbirds The Size of Bullets by Kill Hannah (1996)

Post Smashing Pumpkins, Kill Hannah was supposed to be the future of Chicago rock. That never really happened, tho these days they do have a crazed following eyeliner-wearing sock-arm-puppet super emo fans who look exactly like the band.

Pictured above, the Founders of the Tumblr LA ChatRoulette Party Circuit: (top left) Kristina Lopez, Chuck McCarthy, Will Hutson, Heather Peterson and Molly McAleer. Not pictured, ME.

So last night we thought we were going over to Will’s for hotdogs, chips and beer around a fire, but since we’re all so compulsively lonely we kept on checking our iPhones, and since we were all already online we decided to bust out the laptop so we can gather together around the screen instead of the fire, and you know what, since we were already online you might as well just go to the only place that really matters these days and that’s ChatRoulette. After all, it’s better to do it with a group than alone at home in the privacy of your own penis.

This turned out to be our very first ChatRoulette Party ever and I can’t speak for the others, but it was probably the greatest party ever. If you spend any amount of time on CR (that’s what advanced users are calling it now) yeah, you see a lot of disturbing stuff, but I was surprised to see that a lot of people were just doing what we were doing: sitting around the computer with a bunch of friends, drinking beer, laughing and then calling the other douchebags on the other end of the tube a bunch of a$$holes and politely asking the girls in their group to BOOBS or GTFO. Sometimes we’d have actual conversations with the people, but mostly it was just a lot of yelling, a lot of turning down the volume due to microphone feedback and a lot of Chuck asking if our new CR Stranger Friend was from Japan. It was a blast. I know I’m not the only one who left Will’s place thinking we have to make a more organized attempt at Tumblr LA ChatRoulette Party 2.0.

I mean, look at Heather’s face. ChatRoulette is her new home. It’s Chuck’s new home, too, and I don’t think he’s ever going to move out. Will looks both disgusted and amused at what he sees, but the things on CR are both disgusting and amusing (and rarely ever interesting, but who cares; interesting always ends up being boring, anyway)! I do believe that a part of Kristina’s soul was destroyed last night because there were a couple penises that couldn’t be unseen, but that’s okay because Molly was recognized by some random, and as everybody knows, that just changes everything forever.

The other day I mentioned a game we’ve been trying to play at the office. The last ten minutes of the day the first person to get five girls to do something awesome (read = get naked) gets $20 from each person playing. Well, this is just impossible. I don’t even think five girls on CR even exist. But even so, CR is a great platform for party games and it’s only a matter of time before something awesome develops and pretty soon the Universe is playing a giant game of ChatRoulette Bingo together (Bingo, not just for the olds anymore!).

A ChatRoulette Party can work in any number of ways. Naturally to make it work, you’re going to need a lot of alcohol. But that’s a given, really. And stupid I even mentioned it, I’m sorry.

Depending on how many people you have at the party, you’re going to need a few different computer setups. That way 20 people aren’t gathered around a silly laptop. Don’t have three computers? DIGITALLY PROJECT THAT SHIT ON THE WALL, BITCHES.

As far as games go, the possibilities are endless really. You have your drinking games:


Crotch Shot = 1 shot
Boob Shot  =  2 shots
Man wearing Jigsaw or Scream or the clown mask from IT = 3 shots.

And so on…

There’s also Pictionary. This boring game is instantly made exciting again because everyone on CR is retarded and retarded people always have more fun.

Chance Romance In Your FunPants is my favorite ChatRoulette game of them all. This one requires two different computer setups at your party, preferably in two different rooms. If, BY CHANCE, two people at your party are matched up in a chat on CR, those two people have to go to the bathroom and totally make out in each other’s FUNPANTS. If it’s two groups of people at the party that get matched up in a chat: ORGY TIME. If it’s two girls at the party, it doesn’t matter, they just have to go to the bathroom and les-it-out (and if it’s two dudes I believe you can take a pass or just utilize the No Homo clause that’s written into the life contract you signed at birth).

There are other games, for sure. But this is already TL;DR and a creepy night on ChatRoulette awaits.

And see you at the Tumblr LA ChatRoulette Party 2.0.

Rock Star by Hole

I just realized! Courtney is channeling Duff McKagan in this song!

Also,

Happy Sunday!